Body autonomy with carers/ family/friends

This template for regular carers of your child to emphasise your family boundaries around body safety and autonomy.

Content warning - this article speaks to the existence of child abuse

A template for regular carers of your child to emphasise your family boundaries around body safety to support and be a co-educator of your child.

And while it is confronting to imagine that someone in your network may cause harm to your child, the evidence shows that over 90% of abuse is perpetrated by someone known to the child. Using a template like this can also alert them that you and your child are informed, aware and observant for the potential of abuse.

Hello family/ friend / person who cares for my child,

I have recently been learning about preventing childhood sexual abuse. We learnt some frightening statistics about how prevalent it is, but also how much we can do to prevent and create safety for our children.

OR

My own childhood experience motivated to learn more about preventing childhood sexual abuse. We learnt some frightening statistics about how prevalent it is, but also how much we can do to prevent it.

One of the things we feel really confident about, is having people like you, who we trust implicitly to care for our children.Thank you for being another safe person in their lives that they can rely on.

We have been talking to [Child/ren names] about new family safety rules. They might tell you ALL about them! I wanted to give a heads up so you know what we have agreed as a family. Chid/ren Names knows that:

We use the correct names for our body parts including penis, vulva, anus

Body autonomy - I make decisions about my body, who touches it, when and how. I am the boss of my body.

I can choose who, and how, I give affection. I can say no to hugs, kisses or any touch if I want to

No screens without adult supervision at any time. (this may be adjusted for older children)

We don't have secrets. Safe adults don’t ask children to keep secrets.

We listen to our intuition and bodies. If I feel unsafe or uncertain I can ask to call my parents/ carers anytime.

Private parts are private - NO ONE should touch my private parts but me (unless XXXX helps me wipe after going to the toilet). Nudity at home is normal, but no one should show me their private parts or ask to see mine. I should not see pictures of private parts on the phone or computer. I can have privacy when I need it. I can wait to shower or bath at home if I want.

We don't go anywhere or accept gifts from someone until we have checked with our parents/caregivers

Safe adults don't ask kids for help without their parents knowing.

I don't need to be polite, or quiet or behave if my body says something or somebody feels unsafe - I can yell or scream or run away or demand to go home.

Tricky people or behaviour is anyone who tries to break, or asks me to break, our family safety rules.

It is important to me that you know how grateful we are to have safe, loved and wonderful people around Child/ren name/s like you.

We know having you care for them is one of the most important things we can do to keep them safe.

Thanks for being part of our children's community.

Thanks, with love,

Parent/ Carer

Categories: : Child protection